(Based on a true story and novel by Bryce Courtenay)
Peter Philip Kenneth Keith was born in South Africa to English farmers who settled in the bush. He was named after his father. His mother called him P.K., the same way she called his father. Being of English decent, P.K. was in a class all his own, and the social conflict he over came through deviance set the foundation of equality and independence for the native South African tribes.
The Social Conflict Perspective focuses on how elements of society promote divisions and inequalities as well as addressing deficiencies of structural functionalism (Newman, 2010 pg.45). P.K. was born in 1930 and in 1948, just eighteen years later, an Afrikaner government was voted into power. The Afrikaners were a group of Dutch, French, and Germans fleeing religious persecution in Europe and settling in South Africa. Due to this Afrikaner government, a system of racial segregation first introduced by the English was declared the law of the land. The English never gave it a name but the Afrikaners called it Apartheid.
According to David Newman’s social conflict perspective, “Social order arises not from the societal pursuit of harmony but from dominance and coercion.”(Newman, 2010 pg.45). Before P.K. was eighteen, he was sent to boarding school due to his mother getting sick and not being able to care for him. Prior to his birth, his father was trampled to death by a Bull Elephant. Due to his economic status (poor), P.K. had to go to the cheapest school available, one run by the Afrikaners. In school he was bullied by the oldest boy, named Botha. Botha was convinced that P.K. was to pay for the deaths of Afrikaners who were put in concentration camps by the English. Botha peed on him, spit buggies in his face, gave him the nick name of piss kop (kop meaning “head”), killed his only friend (a chicken at the time), and hung him by his feet and slung a rock at his head.
P.K. was able to finally leave the school and was sent to live with his grandfather when his mother died. He was schooled by a German Expert on cacti (P.K. called him Doc) who was eventually imprisoned in a camp by the English. P.K. was allowed to visit and for the next five years he learned to box in the prison, and he became friends to all the different African tribes residing in the camp. Those tribes named him “Rainmaker” meaning one who keeps the peace. These experiences in the prison camp and the racism he suffered from in the Afrikaner school taught him to see beyond laws and regulations. P.K. saw deviance at a young age. His social perspective was shaped by his early life.
“Deviance is a form of social control exerted by more powerful people and groups over less powerful people and groups” (Newman, 2010pg.241) In High School he attended a private English school and developed a supportive relationship with his professor. P.K. had made friends with some Zulu tribes through his boxing matches and together they proclaimed the myth of the rainmaker. By doing this they gave the native Africans hope. P.K. was able to set up a school by the support of his professor at school, to teach the natives how to read and write, and by doing this highly illegal act, he was able to start a water fall. A water fall only starts with one drop of water, but culminates into a powerful force that is unstoppable. P.K. was caught teaching and the police beat everyone at the school while accidentally killing P.K.’s love, Maria.
Everyone P.K. ever loved was taken by death in one way or another, but this only added to his desire to change society and he did change it. He was able to teach the adults and they taught the children creating a water fall of unstoppable deviance, ultimately changing the social conflict into a compromise. Today, there is still many conflicts in society based on different racism's and deviance, but with the example that was set forth by P.K. we can know the power of one.
The Movie "The Power Of One" is one of my all time favorite inspirational movies. Standing up for humanity in any situation, even if the efforts are small they will culminate into a waterfall effect over time.
Works Cited
Racism: The Power of One; movie produced by Aaron Milchan based on the true story and book written by Bryce Courtenay.
BOOK: http://www.brycecourtenay.com/book.asp?bid=39
MOVIE: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105159/
Social Conflict Perspective: Sociology book by David Newman, 2010 pg.45
Deviance: Sociology book by David Newman, 2010 pg.241
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Lobotomist
Dr. Walter Freeman is the son of a man who was the first in his time to do brain surgery while the patient was still awake. It was a marveling discovery! Due to this pioneering of the brain one of the many things we now know is that the brain does not contain pain receptors commonly called nocireceptors. The success of his father, Dr. Walter also wanted to do something truly ground breaking in the neuro field, and that’s when the lobotomy was invented.
The 1940’s was a time when Dr. Walter was in his prime, figuring out the effects of mental illness and he just really wanted to fix it. At the time most doctors were viewed as all knowing, or in the PBS documentary they called them, “Demy Gods”. I talked with my grandmother, Lydia Gardner about how she was raised to believe in the power of the doctor. She said you were never supposed to question a doctor. The doctor knows a whole lot more than most people, and to question him would be to question an authority. Today, my grandmother still believes this. However, in the year 2010 compared with the 1940’s, we have come a long way and to regard doctors as demy gods is to be blind. There is nothing wrong with wanting to fix the problems associated with mental illness, that is only human and a far cry from the demy gods we use to worship.
Unfortunately, Dr. Walters procedure was ill managed, ill recorded, ill researched, and lacked humility. Dr. Walter believed so much in the lobotomy to cure the mentally ill that he was blind to the statistics of his practice. It wasn’t the cure-all, and many that received one didn’t show signs of being cured. If he would have maybe started with a tiny part of the brain and very carefully tested it to determine if it might be a cause of such illness he then could have formulated a better treatment. Even though, in an industrial aspect, he was able to assemble an in expensive way to line em’up and lobotomize them, the procedure was far from a cure for the mentally ill.
Even though modern science claims lobotomies were a monstrous mistake, there was some good that came from it. We now know what the frontal lobe is capable of, even though it is still a very complex part of the brain and is still under considerable research. Due to the negative effects of the lobotomy, we can eliminate the things that are transcribed in the frontal area, and its association. I think Dr. Walter might have been on the right tract by first wanting to treat the brain, but made a human mistake in taking it too far. For his time, he might have been ahead of the game, but due to the lack of medical devises we have now, he fell very short and easily detoured from his path to greatness.
Works Cited:
Dr. Walters, 1940 PBS Documentary: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/films/lobotomist/player/
The 1940’s was a time when Dr. Walter was in his prime, figuring out the effects of mental illness and he just really wanted to fix it. At the time most doctors were viewed as all knowing, or in the PBS documentary they called them, “Demy Gods”. I talked with my grandmother, Lydia Gardner about how she was raised to believe in the power of the doctor. She said you were never supposed to question a doctor. The doctor knows a whole lot more than most people, and to question him would be to question an authority. Today, my grandmother still believes this. However, in the year 2010 compared with the 1940’s, we have come a long way and to regard doctors as demy gods is to be blind. There is nothing wrong with wanting to fix the problems associated with mental illness, that is only human and a far cry from the demy gods we use to worship.
Unfortunately, Dr. Walters procedure was ill managed, ill recorded, ill researched, and lacked humility. Dr. Walter believed so much in the lobotomy to cure the mentally ill that he was blind to the statistics of his practice. It wasn’t the cure-all, and many that received one didn’t show signs of being cured. If he would have maybe started with a tiny part of the brain and very carefully tested it to determine if it might be a cause of such illness he then could have formulated a better treatment. Even though, in an industrial aspect, he was able to assemble an in expensive way to line em’up and lobotomize them, the procedure was far from a cure for the mentally ill.
Even though modern science claims lobotomies were a monstrous mistake, there was some good that came from it. We now know what the frontal lobe is capable of, even though it is still a very complex part of the brain and is still under considerable research. Due to the negative effects of the lobotomy, we can eliminate the things that are transcribed in the frontal area, and its association. I think Dr. Walter might have been on the right tract by first wanting to treat the brain, but made a human mistake in taking it too far. For his time, he might have been ahead of the game, but due to the lack of medical devises we have now, he fell very short and easily detoured from his path to greatness.
Works Cited:
Dr. Walters, 1940 PBS Documentary: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/films/lobotomist/player/
America's fantasy
From rags to riches, is the American dream right, or at least every American's fantasy. Movies that are made about changes in social class have always been a timeless tale and a consistent hit at the box offices. What would life for me be like if I moved up in social class? I think it would depend on how I got there. For example, if I won the Lottery or earned a CEO position in a successful company would determine how I would spend my money and who would accept me into their social group. Like most people I want a better life for my children, just like my parents want for me. If I could afford to send my children to a better school then it would increase their chances of being better and fitting into the upper-class society. My parents were never in a position to send us to the upper schools and now as a parent I am also in no position to do so. My ascribed status is poor, but my parents over the last 15 years have been able to change their ascribed status to achieved status of middle class. My father is an Entrepreneur, with this profession; it can either bring in little money or a considerable amount. Successful figures of entrepreneurship are people like Donald Trump who achieved success through the real estate market(2), the retired CEO of Conagra Foods Richard Porter who grew up as a farm boy and was able to achieve success in one of the largest food companies in the US(3), and then there’s Oprah Winfrey who was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother and later raised in an inner-city Milwaukee neighborhood, after many trials she achieved success in the television industry as a talk show host(4).
If I grew up in Middle class my childhood might have been very different. I would have been able to sign up for cheer at my jr. high school. My mother at the time told me I could not join even though I passed the tryouts because she didn’t have the money for the fees and uniforms involved with the program. I could have gone to a better school more adapt to handle my learning style ensuring me a better education that could help me develop the skills needed to achieve more success in the future. I could have had my college paid for without having to work as well as getting it done sooner so I wouldn’t have to be a mom or a wife while in college. I would have been able to be a traditional student. I just might have been able to go on cool vacations and see part of the world or have the opportunity to be an exchange student (something I have always dreamed of but now I have too many responsibilities to consider such things). However, I might have missed out on important family time and relationship development that I did have with my parents and siblings. We worked together on the chores, played together, and learned together. In a report written by Rachel Williams and independent school leader; says that middle-class parents enroll their kids into too many programs resulting in less family time and leading to a burn out(1). I am glad this wasn’t the case for me.
In middle-class status, I might have received an education anywhere from a master’s degree to a doctorate. My family’s views would be more set on education than what it was. When growing up my parent’s attitude was if you want to go to college then you will find a way to get there. If you get a Bachelors degree then we will be very pleased and pleasantly surprised, but it isn’t a need that must be met.
When I was younger I desired to be an actress. What little girl didn’t? I still have this secrete want to be a part of a movie, to play someone opposite of my natural character. I was even lucky enough to have drama in high school and acting lessons at a summer camp in California. I loved every minute of it. If money for my education wasn’t so scarce then I would have been able to focus on my talent and not have to go to school for a career that will make me just enough money to provide a roof over my kids heads and food in their bellies. Those needs would already be taken care of by my smart husband and family money I have willed to me. I could have achieved the status of a star and moved up in class or written several successful plays. I would be living in Hawaii on Maui and I could afford the best private school for my children and have the ability to fly off the island anytime for family reunions. I would definitely have had a little plastic surgery to keep me looking young, my children would be very well dressed and somewhat well mannered, and my husband will match me in youthful looks with an athletic build. We would be the picture perfect family that has achieved success. Others would see us as an example to follow.
My personality might not be too much different but I would imagine my attitude about being able to do anything would be brightened. My parenting style would be more open to letting my kids explore their interests at no worry for costs. However I fear that my obsession with my career could affect my parental ability diminishing my authority over my children and leaving it in the hands of teachers, nannies, and those whom I might not be able to trust. This could teach my children that self is more important than family creating a lonely life in my elder years without grand kids and the joy of loved ones around. How often does this happen? All too much I believe. I do believe that we can obtain any success we might desire but our desires can get diminish with every failure or distraction resulting in our ascribed and achieved status being the same throughout life. Distractions in life that can keep us from success could be in our health, our education or lack thereof, or it could be in seeing other things as more desirable and then changing our minds. Some success comes at a price and if we are willing to pay that price then we can have the cake. Some success is worth the price while others could lead to a life unfulfilled.
I do believe my opinion on this matter of rags to riches is affected by my social class. Being poor isn’t fun and dreaming makes it bearable. Those dreams of a higher achieved status drive my desires to do better, to try again, and to endure it well. The relative importance of ascription versus achievement in American society is essential to the way of life here. Competition in a school is enforced by teachers, pay grade is awarded by competition for a position, and we always want what we can’t have. It drives the consumer industry, breathing life into the middle-class way. My goal is to move up in class but to keep my moral beliefs of family being the most important the same. If I can do this without sacrificing my family then I will achieve it.
WORKS CITED:
1. Rachel Williams; http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/may/12/middle-class-children-too-busy
2. Donald Trump; http://www.trump.com/
3. Richard Porter; he is a personal family friend.
4. Oprah Winfrey; http://www.oprah.com/index.html
If I grew up in Middle class my childhood might have been very different. I would have been able to sign up for cheer at my jr. high school. My mother at the time told me I could not join even though I passed the tryouts because she didn’t have the money for the fees and uniforms involved with the program. I could have gone to a better school more adapt to handle my learning style ensuring me a better education that could help me develop the skills needed to achieve more success in the future. I could have had my college paid for without having to work as well as getting it done sooner so I wouldn’t have to be a mom or a wife while in college. I would have been able to be a traditional student. I just might have been able to go on cool vacations and see part of the world or have the opportunity to be an exchange student (something I have always dreamed of but now I have too many responsibilities to consider such things). However, I might have missed out on important family time and relationship development that I did have with my parents and siblings. We worked together on the chores, played together, and learned together. In a report written by Rachel Williams and independent school leader; says that middle-class parents enroll their kids into too many programs resulting in less family time and leading to a burn out(1). I am glad this wasn’t the case for me.
In middle-class status, I might have received an education anywhere from a master’s degree to a doctorate. My family’s views would be more set on education than what it was. When growing up my parent’s attitude was if you want to go to college then you will find a way to get there. If you get a Bachelors degree then we will be very pleased and pleasantly surprised, but it isn’t a need that must be met.
When I was younger I desired to be an actress. What little girl didn’t? I still have this secrete want to be a part of a movie, to play someone opposite of my natural character. I was even lucky enough to have drama in high school and acting lessons at a summer camp in California. I loved every minute of it. If money for my education wasn’t so scarce then I would have been able to focus on my talent and not have to go to school for a career that will make me just enough money to provide a roof over my kids heads and food in their bellies. Those needs would already be taken care of by my smart husband and family money I have willed to me. I could have achieved the status of a star and moved up in class or written several successful plays. I would be living in Hawaii on Maui and I could afford the best private school for my children and have the ability to fly off the island anytime for family reunions. I would definitely have had a little plastic surgery to keep me looking young, my children would be very well dressed and somewhat well mannered, and my husband will match me in youthful looks with an athletic build. We would be the picture perfect family that has achieved success. Others would see us as an example to follow.
My personality might not be too much different but I would imagine my attitude about being able to do anything would be brightened. My parenting style would be more open to letting my kids explore their interests at no worry for costs. However I fear that my obsession with my career could affect my parental ability diminishing my authority over my children and leaving it in the hands of teachers, nannies, and those whom I might not be able to trust. This could teach my children that self is more important than family creating a lonely life in my elder years without grand kids and the joy of loved ones around. How often does this happen? All too much I believe. I do believe that we can obtain any success we might desire but our desires can get diminish with every failure or distraction resulting in our ascribed and achieved status being the same throughout life. Distractions in life that can keep us from success could be in our health, our education or lack thereof, or it could be in seeing other things as more desirable and then changing our minds. Some success comes at a price and if we are willing to pay that price then we can have the cake. Some success is worth the price while others could lead to a life unfulfilled.
I do believe my opinion on this matter of rags to riches is affected by my social class. Being poor isn’t fun and dreaming makes it bearable. Those dreams of a higher achieved status drive my desires to do better, to try again, and to endure it well. The relative importance of ascription versus achievement in American society is essential to the way of life here. Competition in a school is enforced by teachers, pay grade is awarded by competition for a position, and we always want what we can’t have. It drives the consumer industry, breathing life into the middle-class way. My goal is to move up in class but to keep my moral beliefs of family being the most important the same. If I can do this without sacrificing my family then I will achieve it.
WORKS CITED:
1. Rachel Williams; http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/may/12/middle-class-children-too-busy
2. Donald Trump; http://www.trump.com/
3. Richard Porter; he is a personal family friend.
4. Oprah Winfrey; http://www.oprah.com/index.html
My Roller-coaster
At the time of writing this an 31 years old, the years seem to go by faster every birthday that passes. My life has been a roller coaster ride, according to my standards I have set, yet I have heard awful stories of other experiences that seem to diminish my own and I often feel that I shouldn’t complain. I can’t help but compare my life to a roller coaster ride, for me there is no better explanation of my experiences; they are the only ones I’ve had after all. These experiences are helping me find my strengths, challenges, and goals in life. They are what make me “Me”, on a roller coaster ride.
In the beginning, the ride starts off waiting in line. The people in line ahead of you are excitedly talking to one another and you can feel the anticipation growing with every step closer you take, and then there are those in line behind you that are groaning in an attempt to demonstrate their lack of patients for the long wait. In line is where I was as a young girl; excited for the future but couldn’t wait to grow up. My parents always said I could do anything I put my mind to and they helped me get into line at the roller coaster. Why? Because that’s the road I naively wanted to take. They wanted to warn me, they wanted to choose for me, but they kept their mouths shut because they knew I had to do it on my own. I guess that was just my personality; do everything the hard way.
My Parents are egalitarians (1). They believe in equality of members in any ethnic group, including my own, but this idea carried over into social economic groups as well. We were poor, and the idea that someone with money was better than me or any other poor person was absurd. I was raised to believe in the American dream, in being able to cross over into an achieved social status above the one I was born into (2). My parents also believed in sharing this dream with others, particularly those from other countries. I think this came mostly from my father who had spent a few years in Hawaii as a pineapple picker and then in Bolivia learning to speak Spanish and Quechan. His ability to love what made those cultures different gave him the ability to teach egalitarianism to his children. He is the most excepting and non-judgmental man I have ever known.
While I was waiting in line for my life to begin on the roller coaster, I had the opportunity, more than once, to be a part of the “American Experience” for two young girls. One from Columbia, her name is Bertha (pronounced: Bear-Ta). She came to live with my family as an exchange student at the age of seventeen, and I was 12 years old. According to her we were rich. Even though I knew we weren’t from a social view point, she was happy to share a room with me and three of my four sisters. It still amazes me to this day that we all fit into that room. The other from Ecuador, her name is Zoila (pronounced: Soy-La). I was seventeen when Zoila came to live with us and by this time I was the oldest left in the home, so we shared a room; just the two of us. Zoila and I spent a year getting to know each other, sharing everything from that room I just told you about to friends and classes at the local High School. Together we were able to eventually form concrete operations in a way that signified a higher communication. Since there was a bit of a language barrier (I had a hard time hearing what she was saying due to her strong accent) we created an expression language. This was great because not only did we know what the other was thinking but we could talk to each other from across the room without any words at all. When she felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave I picked up on it and we left. Our ability to communicate was in perfect unity with each other and became much more than your basic pragmatics.
My opportunity to show the United States way of life to these girls contributed to my incremental model of intelligence by cultivating my awareness of others, and set aside my egocentrism (4). For me, this meant that the world no longer consisted of only the United States or that my culture was the right one, but that there were many more cultures out there just as great as my own. I then found a strength that I had, like my father, I too wanted to find out about the differences of other places in the world and experience them, accept them, and love them as I love myself. I have developed the ability to empathize and learn from that empathy. This meant that we as human beings, no matter the race, culture or religion, should all be equal.
More of my strengths have been discovered after marriage. When I was about 21, my boyfriend and I decided we were old enough to take that roller coaster plunge! The first plunge of the ride is of course the most memorable. All the anticipation of getting on the ride and here we were at the very top just before the fall. You could cut the adrenaline, the excitement in the air with a knife. Learning to be married wasn’t the easiest or the most fun. As the years passed we grew together, changing from “me and my” to “us and our” had evolved. In this relationship I had found I could stand up for myself and voice my opinion. I could be stubborn (in a good way) and not be easily persuaded. I found that I could be persistent. I never knew about these. As I was younger I tended to shy away from those who were most opinionated or that I disagreed with. I easily gave up on ideas that seemed to require more effort and persistence than most.
My husband and I had our first baby; a boy. Until this point on the roller coaster ride, we never had discussed much about parenting. I never really thought it would be such a big deal either, just another one of those naïve moments for me. My husband grew up in an authoritarian home and he thought there was nothing wrong with that (5). The excuse, ”I turned out fine” seemed to escape his lips more than I could count on both hands. My background growing up was never to be forced but more to be persuaded and guided. Disciplined for me meant getting a privilege taken away. Sometimes I wished I could have just had a spanking and called it good, but that was never the way my parents did things. They were good at inflicting the feeling of guilt or at least from my limited memories, guilt was what I remember most. I wouldn’t call my parents permissive or authoritarian; they closely followed more of the authoritative style and their co-regulation was impeccable. So naturally we had to (and still are) consistently debating the best possible way to treat, discipline, and encourage our children.
As a parent I have found many weaknesses. One was me thinking my children were perfect and could do no wrong, this lead to my children getting away with more than a handful of unacceptable behaviors. That was of course until they got older and I was able to observe them from a distance, the kids had no idea I was watching. Sometimes at night I hear them talking to each other and without them knowing it I am listening in on the conversation of an eight year old boy and a three year old girl. I love doing that, most the time I am laughing my head off and other times all I hear is the sibling rivalry between them. I feel I get a better judgment of their personalities and intentions by doing this.
My strengths and weaknesses have led me to many goals I have set for myself and my family. The one that is most important right now is to be able to educate myself and to achieve a higher status than my ascribed status (3). I love school and learning. Not only do I consistently change but so do my children and our family dynamics. Education can only help with this and it will affect my children’s futures as well. I firmly believe that modeling the life I desire for my children is the best way to ensure their success in society and other places around the world if they choose to. I want my children to get a college education, to know about the world and other cultures, and to be able to feel good about their occupation in life. I am still on my roller coaster ride, and I savor every new excitement it brings and I know I will be able to pull out of those plunges that are inevitably going to happen.
Works Cited
1. Egalitarians, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg.310
2. Achieved status, http://www.sociologyguide.com/basic-concepts/Achieved-Statuses.php
3. Ascribed status, http://www.sociologyguide.com/basic-concepts/Ascribed-Statuses.php
4. Incremental Model of Intelligence & Egocentrism, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg. 443& pg.482
5. Authoritarian, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg.346
In the beginning, the ride starts off waiting in line. The people in line ahead of you are excitedly talking to one another and you can feel the anticipation growing with every step closer you take, and then there are those in line behind you that are groaning in an attempt to demonstrate their lack of patients for the long wait. In line is where I was as a young girl; excited for the future but couldn’t wait to grow up. My parents always said I could do anything I put my mind to and they helped me get into line at the roller coaster. Why? Because that’s the road I naively wanted to take. They wanted to warn me, they wanted to choose for me, but they kept their mouths shut because they knew I had to do it on my own. I guess that was just my personality; do everything the hard way.
My Parents are egalitarians (1). They believe in equality of members in any ethnic group, including my own, but this idea carried over into social economic groups as well. We were poor, and the idea that someone with money was better than me or any other poor person was absurd. I was raised to believe in the American dream, in being able to cross over into an achieved social status above the one I was born into (2). My parents also believed in sharing this dream with others, particularly those from other countries. I think this came mostly from my father who had spent a few years in Hawaii as a pineapple picker and then in Bolivia learning to speak Spanish and Quechan. His ability to love what made those cultures different gave him the ability to teach egalitarianism to his children. He is the most excepting and non-judgmental man I have ever known.
While I was waiting in line for my life to begin on the roller coaster, I had the opportunity, more than once, to be a part of the “American Experience” for two young girls. One from Columbia, her name is Bertha (pronounced: Bear-Ta). She came to live with my family as an exchange student at the age of seventeen, and I was 12 years old. According to her we were rich. Even though I knew we weren’t from a social view point, she was happy to share a room with me and three of my four sisters. It still amazes me to this day that we all fit into that room. The other from Ecuador, her name is Zoila (pronounced: Soy-La). I was seventeen when Zoila came to live with us and by this time I was the oldest left in the home, so we shared a room; just the two of us. Zoila and I spent a year getting to know each other, sharing everything from that room I just told you about to friends and classes at the local High School. Together we were able to eventually form concrete operations in a way that signified a higher communication. Since there was a bit of a language barrier (I had a hard time hearing what she was saying due to her strong accent) we created an expression language. This was great because not only did we know what the other was thinking but we could talk to each other from across the room without any words at all. When she felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave I picked up on it and we left. Our ability to communicate was in perfect unity with each other and became much more than your basic pragmatics.
My opportunity to show the United States way of life to these girls contributed to my incremental model of intelligence by cultivating my awareness of others, and set aside my egocentrism (4). For me, this meant that the world no longer consisted of only the United States or that my culture was the right one, but that there were many more cultures out there just as great as my own. I then found a strength that I had, like my father, I too wanted to find out about the differences of other places in the world and experience them, accept them, and love them as I love myself. I have developed the ability to empathize and learn from that empathy. This meant that we as human beings, no matter the race, culture or religion, should all be equal.
More of my strengths have been discovered after marriage. When I was about 21, my boyfriend and I decided we were old enough to take that roller coaster plunge! The first plunge of the ride is of course the most memorable. All the anticipation of getting on the ride and here we were at the very top just before the fall. You could cut the adrenaline, the excitement in the air with a knife. Learning to be married wasn’t the easiest or the most fun. As the years passed we grew together, changing from “me and my” to “us and our” had evolved. In this relationship I had found I could stand up for myself and voice my opinion. I could be stubborn (in a good way) and not be easily persuaded. I found that I could be persistent. I never knew about these. As I was younger I tended to shy away from those who were most opinionated or that I disagreed with. I easily gave up on ideas that seemed to require more effort and persistence than most.
My husband and I had our first baby; a boy. Until this point on the roller coaster ride, we never had discussed much about parenting. I never really thought it would be such a big deal either, just another one of those naïve moments for me. My husband grew up in an authoritarian home and he thought there was nothing wrong with that (5). The excuse, ”I turned out fine” seemed to escape his lips more than I could count on both hands. My background growing up was never to be forced but more to be persuaded and guided. Disciplined for me meant getting a privilege taken away. Sometimes I wished I could have just had a spanking and called it good, but that was never the way my parents did things. They were good at inflicting the feeling of guilt or at least from my limited memories, guilt was what I remember most. I wouldn’t call my parents permissive or authoritarian; they closely followed more of the authoritative style and their co-regulation was impeccable. So naturally we had to (and still are) consistently debating the best possible way to treat, discipline, and encourage our children.
As a parent I have found many weaknesses. One was me thinking my children were perfect and could do no wrong, this lead to my children getting away with more than a handful of unacceptable behaviors. That was of course until they got older and I was able to observe them from a distance, the kids had no idea I was watching. Sometimes at night I hear them talking to each other and without them knowing it I am listening in on the conversation of an eight year old boy and a three year old girl. I love doing that, most the time I am laughing my head off and other times all I hear is the sibling rivalry between them. I feel I get a better judgment of their personalities and intentions by doing this.
My strengths and weaknesses have led me to many goals I have set for myself and my family. The one that is most important right now is to be able to educate myself and to achieve a higher status than my ascribed status (3). I love school and learning. Not only do I consistently change but so do my children and our family dynamics. Education can only help with this and it will affect my children’s futures as well. I firmly believe that modeling the life I desire for my children is the best way to ensure their success in society and other places around the world if they choose to. I want my children to get a college education, to know about the world and other cultures, and to be able to feel good about their occupation in life. I am still on my roller coaster ride, and I savor every new excitement it brings and I know I will be able to pull out of those plunges that are inevitably going to happen.
Works Cited
1. Egalitarians, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg.310
2. Achieved status, http://www.sociologyguide.com/basic-concepts/Achieved-Statuses.php
3. Ascribed status, http://www.sociologyguide.com/basic-concepts/Ascribed-Statuses.php
4. Incremental Model of Intelligence & Egocentrism, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg. 443& pg.482
5. Authoritarian, The Development of Children by Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 6th edition, pg.346
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